At the end of the day
when the world is drowning
in lists undone
my mind cannot contain more
than concrete steps
and I want to be a mason
where things get done
and buildings stand up

I want to be a mathematician
where proofs make sense

I want to be a gymnast
who sticks the landing

I want to skate a routine
to a song
I want to jump

One day I will die
and no one will scour my journals
for clips of brilliance

The times everyone should have listened
will not surface

It will go unwritten
that you would not do a better job
given the circumstances

Those critics
who did not notice my work
will not care how I woke up
nightmares heart racing failure

What is done is done

What is want is want

The simpleness of every minute
does not add up

having tried is not enough