After work staring
a construction worker on the roof of the school across the street
drifts my thoughts to the not pattern of my splattered coffee
the dirty cup on my desk rests in my mind
(moment  of take a break, sit down, stalks on)

Break what?
Not respond to the mother
with cervical cancer
who called
to the quiet that fell in the office
to the hush
to the suspended one who walked outside to mother
the littler ones

To you in the back seat with your son
puppeteering him through
determinedly glassy eyed
smile
how long you survive
not quite crying
perseverance or die

You sit strapped in
back seat of the car
(the care of a ride)

Everyone needs a backseat
sometimes
(and still you are holding him
holding so much
your son)

Me up front
young, unsure what will come
crying to silly lyrics
ellipsis flashback
my mother chastising me
for pulling parents hands to touch
fixing: internal eternal impulse
braving face some moments
others unsure
the world is
so beautiful

Their faces
their eyes
the counselor next door
making a poster with a girl
saying “it’s ok to cry,”

Our office sustains
hoping another he
will not get shot
Call his mother at 3 o’clock
Don’t forget
tomorrow is twin day
the mundane we live for
the earnest look up of hopes
the screams worth the strain
to reassure normalcy
to make space
for construction
for hope
for against all odds
holding on
to the beauty of stories
of what is and what was
and what will be
getting there
being here
all at once

Conducting an ocean
you carry on
you carry us.