In the neat windowsill box
patiently waiting all winter
spring has bugged
a spider in my tub
ants on the counter
mushrooms making way
amidst the aloe
New York City hibernates
more than most
limited life lost
streets darkened early
making hesitant hermits
hate each other more
and themselves most
but spring creeps
suddenly there
aloe must greet mushroom
new ideas abound
and your apartments grow hot
forced hellos happen
still spraying Raid
I am secretly thankful.
When A and B add up to 90 degrees
everything is right
Right like an organized room
someone else’s eyes internalized
Internalized ideas of everything
equations in what we speak
A does not compliment B
A is A, B is B
There is no room to rattle
In 90 degrees life is fixed
The whole 360 business
Is all in how you see it
You are not a complement
You are not trapped
Accept your angle
Embrace your remaining vantage
Access the circle
By letting go of the complement
Your prior knowledge pales
by comparison
you’ve been to Jersey
and Puerto Rico if you’re lucky
He’s cruised
multiple places around the world
His parents use words
he’s never heard
around the dinner table
discourse ensuing
My class averages improve
central tendency groups
near the middle
creeps towards equality
thereof some version
Not that your gifts don’t matter too
you’re naturally smarter
know what to do
in more varied situations
socially astute
And yet I’d like to take you
like confetti
shake it up
float down wherever
happens to happen
rigged though
those previously with least
landing in the laps of most
spend a few years leveling
redefine the domain
of inequality.
Like a pantomime
of an invisible wall
I can still feel you
The angle of depression does not vary.
Without fail, your face will hit the ground
at said time if you jump
the bird unlearned
how to fly will thump when
But where it goes?
No one knows how many beats of wings
it takes to get to undisclosed place
of comfort of cloud
of stratosphere strung out
cotton-candided bliss
of balanced suspension
And it is hard to walk somewhere unknown
internal compass blown away
no step stepping tip toed
careful forethought
about hypotenused guard dog nose
It is uncharitable how to elevate
balance is unstill
keep fluttering
there are no constants
no formulaic equations.
Paint sticks on walls
people become their parents
picture frames capture moments.
Surely someone wears leather shorts
but even this is a trope
People listen with no willingness
imagination stays confined
to the recesses of time
make it work; wear floral prints
lack awareness of goals
beyond days days end multiplied
There is this moment
here we are again
take it and hate it
leave it to love it
try to recreate
something intangible
its not all about making things stay.
How does time account for fear?
When I try to teach you to be persuasive
you say “what am I supposed to say?â€
We have lost the point
like the smile someone suppresses when seeing you
see them. Embrace it, adore it
who you are will never dissipate
change comes when you’re ready to know
that flowers die and are still beautiful.
Deafening words chosen to address need
accidentally imposing thoughts categorically
Step back.
I’m trying to listen to you more
ask less, see patterns unfold
focus on the door to the room
not the room beyond next
Step by step
keep you speaking
engaging thinking
talking freely.
Don’t build made up walls.
If the cubicles you’ve constructed
don’t make your messes make sense
climb out of box.
You will not always be right, but you are
always trying to say something.
What will all eggs into one basket produce?
Combinations of efforts strewn
Think your arms into wings.
You are absent all too often
Where do you go?
What do you do when you sit home?
Are you home?
What is home like?
Do you wish you were at school?
You like to avoid.
What do you like to avoid?
What can I make you like?
Is it my business to intrude?
Should I know?
Should I show up at your door?
Should the counselor call again?
Would it matter if we tried harder?
What if it’s not all that severe?
Not ACS worthy, but problematic still.
Then what? Then who? Then how
do we get you to learn? To do?
What lies behind my next door
differs markedly from yours
but based on this I must not lower my expectations
If properly motivated
attentively watched after
you could be like me
(Which in turn would mean I could
invent something worth millions;
see distribute property).
I should go to your house
I dream it up often enough
conjured like stolen impressionist pixels
paint bombed on the canvas
from television un-wonerfulled life
as if projections could make me know.
“Thank you for the day,†my mother would say
abashed and sorry we could not do more
endlessly grateful for your loving ways
for your kindness we can never repay
from day one you became part of my core
“Thank you for the day,†my mother would say
With the promise of your greencard someday
Through my childhood together we’d forge
Endlessly grateful for your loving ways
You went on singing came whatever may
instilling my rhythm “Hips: one, two, three, four.â€
“Thank you for the day,†my mother would say
Come morning I’d crawl to your private space
post sleep you’d wake me with syrup to pour
endlessly grateful for your loving ways
Without you would have been less bright sun rays
With you came kindness, patience, belief, love
“Thank you for the day,†my mother would say
endlessly grateful for your loving ways