A gray filter has taken hold
the sun must be tired today
perhaps haze won the argument
Maybe days when people look tired
they have the best ideas
and something got in the way
Clouds make great Rorschach tests
they are also good for inducing cuddling
When you are alone clouds are only gray
Some words carry the word only like a blanket
Some people carry only like a blanket
Some situations carry only like a blanket
Sometimes you need a blanket
In a meeting with a parent this morning
mom describes the mattresses on the floor
you live on and how this is no excuse
But then your bike got stolen
and how she wanted to say thank you to
What was her name?
She looks to you
for the name of your friend
who got your bike back
I almost cry in thanks
for the existence of childhood friends
for saved bicycles
In a dream last night an English Language Learner
announces his invention
of a new letter to the class
It is a an inappropriate letter
We have not been talking about letters
My face does not twist into confusion
the class does not laugh
It is not a letter
It is a word
He says
we need “spaboveâ€
for special and above
and I think about him lost
and grant it
as if I could reinvent language
to make a place for each reality
I pass a suited gentleman
every morning on the way to work
Shyly we make eye contact
Now we wave
strangers who noticed one another
I’ve invented stories of how I knew him
We’ve had one night stands
We once worked together
Some reason must exist
for broken anonymity
and I wonder after all the unknown people
and their stories
Like a child stealing candy
I think I pull one over on time
Stealing morning greedily
these quiet minutes, mine
What is this need for stillness
perfect mid night moment
fan breeze bringing swirl from outside?
We protect ourselves from back
and forth we go over these lines
If only we could sit still
and not consider
the to do list
If only we could run
and not need a break
If only we could stand in the rain laughing
and not feel wet afterwards
The first day has its way with me
every time
day one of hope nightmares fears
Should we strive for the metrics
we don’t believe in
once again
How can we make a difference?
Are we trying to make a difference?
Are we only trying to be ok?
In a dream
I do not chase you
down the hall
We are in a strawberry patch
where you’ve run out of class
and I am so small
but you smaller still
the plants
surpass my shoulders
I sink and smile
you giggle and I
explain you have to wait
for the fruit to grow
the briars here
are not so harmful though
another student runs by
with a wreath
and you give chase
explaining the strawberries
are waiting
while grabbing an under ripe one
admissible permissible
allowed
safely afoot
in the grass
you grow
fee-fi-fo-fum fading
…
bewitched enchanted absorbed
not often enough
concrete tells us there’s nothing more;
it’s simple: the city planners were wrong
To get comfortable to relax
state of no need to shift
this properly stacked on that
or to forget
to not notice
how things interact?
To get caught up
to run
to distract?
The balance of clench
seesaw adrift
and demanding with
very little sustenance
Evil tightrope
of either or
feels futile
What am I fighting for?
Take care of the tiny self
the fetal position inside
We all are
hunkering
adolescents
Residual
before and after
No book to write
without a denouement
No being
with an end in mind
Tenuous present
forever unfolding
Sleepily
you meant to take
the honey flavor
not the peach
the jelly to mix in
is too soft
and today feels like
a feat
That thing she says
in a meeting
reminds you
of another short coming
you should have circumnavigated but haven’t
and how was Copernicus so smart?
Your sister saying this isn’t rocket science
ricochets your stressed heartbeat
you should control autonomic reactions
none of this is that challenging
When you walk in the door
at the end of the day
and the groceries
twist your hands
into doorknob attempt contortions
everything feels hard
tomorrow comes crashing forward
chance evaporates existence
vista enclosed panorama
view mastered sunset