I was so excited for your first bath
recalling primary colored toys
soap suds and traced letters on my back

I did not consider
your startle response
the potential of water
the challenge of surprises
the fear of drowning
Until you started to scream

Should we have eased you in instead
put your tiny hand in the water first?
Or would we have become afraid of your shouts
and shifted to sponging when really water was
only just touching your tiny waist?

We have so little control
except someday perhaps
you will read this
and I would like you to know
we chose to toss you in

Afterwards wrapped you up
in a duck shaped towel
and thought

Well, here’s hoping
she chooses to dive
from the high board